Kaput went the Dell

I was loafing on the couch printing a Corporate Finance case, wondering whether I should make some coffee, when the printer stopped making its rhythmic zip-zap noise that lets me know it's working. It seemed as though the wireless connection to the printer (and everything else) had died. So I restarted, only to discover Windows looked totally wonky, like an early prototype of Windows 97, and some of my programs were gone. So I restarted. Now, when I try to log in, I get the message above, which I assume is code for "Fuck you."

"User profile cannot be loaded," you say? I beg to differ. It seems to me the user profile is probably in my computer, and that my computer's primary functions should certainly include loading things, including user profiles. Not a tall order. Also, I don't appreciate my only response option being "OK." No, it's not OK. There should be a button that says "Catastrophe."

So I came to campus in the hopes the IT would be open, but no. I'm now in the computer lab, where I just finished re-doing a problem set that's due at 8:30 a.m. (That's the thing I was going to print out right after the Corporate Finance case. Whoopsy.) I put in a help ticket and will be back here bright and early to drop off my laptop. If you're religious, pray that my files have not been lost. If you're not, come up with a practical, science-based solution.