Where He Is Now: Eight Years Later

Me after my 40th birthday (surprise!) dinner in December 2018.

Today is Commencement Day for the Yale School of Management's Class of 2019, making it eight years since I graduated from their MBA program, and one year since last I posted an annual update.

Our crew at the WSTC's
grass courts in August 2018.

These past 12 months have probably been my favorite since business school. I'm in my second year of my second post-MBA job, as an in-house management consultant for BASF. I continue to enjoy it, and especially continue to enjoy working remotely, which has enabled me to plant roots in my community and generally enhance my life on all fronts. These days, 90% of the time I'm either at the West Side Tennis Club or home, a 12-minute walk away. I often do my BASF work out of the club's library, and make nearly daily use of the tennis courts, pool, gym (not as often as I should), and bar (more often than I should). The club also hosts summer concerts at the stadium and special events in the clubhouse like trivia nights and karaoke, so we're there a lot. It's the first time as an adult I've felt like I had a home away from home. In fact if we could take our dog and a couple sleeping bags there, we'd probably never leave.

My country club swim
team portrait, 1986.

When I was growing up in a suburb of St. Louis in the '80s and '90s, my family belonged to a country club across the street. My mom spent a lot of time there, playing golf and bridge. I was on the swim team as a kid and played a little bit of tennis as a teen, and we dined there at least once a week. It was a beautiful facility, and the source of fond memories (although, admittedly, young me wasn't always jumping for joy about dressing up in a coat and tie to spend three hours at dinner). It also lived up to some of the negative reputations of country clubs -- formal, stuffy, exclusive, pretentious. Fortunately, our tennis club in Queens is casual, relaxed, welcoming and jovial. More importantly, we've developed genuinely meaningful friendships that have seeped into our broader lives outside of just tennis. Throughout most of my 30s, I didn't have a lot of close friends physically nearby. Now I've made some, and it's added a lot of enrichment to my life over this past year.

Our church during the
Easter Vigil service.

For almost a year now, James and I have been going to church every Sunday. I'm Protestant and he's Catholic, so we were alternating between two nearby churches. A friend from our spin class encouraged us to audition for the choir at the Catholic one, Our Lady Queen of Martyrs. We joined, and now perform every Sunday morning, and rehearse every Tuesday evening. Being in the choir has had a lot of benefits. It gives us an opportunity to work as part of a team, be rewarded for practice, and hopefully enhance mass-goers' experiences. And I've learned a lot about Catholicism, which initially intimidated me. Singing with the choir has ended up being one of the most emotionally and spiritually fulfilling endeavors I've undertaken. And my late brother was a devout Catholic, so I also feel like this is a way to continue to honor him and keep his influence relevant in my daily life.

My BFF from high school
took me to a "Golden Girls" drag
show for my 40th birthday.

I turned 40 in December, and overall I'm excited about this age. I launched this blog when I was 30. When I reflect on the past 10 years, what I mainly see is growth (professional, personal, spiritual, physical), resulting from a nontrivial amount of effort, sacrifice and even pain. Unlike my breezy but stagnant 20s, my 30s saw a battery of challenges, confrontations, rejections and losses that forced me to dig into who I am, what I believe, and where I want to go with my life. I think elderly future me will see my 30s as a period of investment in what I hope will be bountiful subsequent years.

James and I celebrated New Year's
Eve 2018 at a Yale friend's wedding.

My 30s had joyful times as well, of course. I met my partner, explored many new parts of the world, met dozens of fascinating people who'd have remained strangers had I stayed in Texas, adopted a wonderful dog, and rediscovered various passions and interests I'd let expire. Now as I move into my 40s, I feel more optimistic than I have in a long while. I'm excited for what's next.

See you next year!