Where He Is Now: Seven Years Later

Me at Yosemite National Park in California, two weeks ago.

Today is Commencement Day for the Yale School of Management's Class of 2018, making it seven years since I graduated from their MBA program, and one year since I last posted an annual update.

The two biggest updates from the past 12 months happened last fall. On the professional front, there was good news: I got a new job. But there was bad news on the personal front, as less than a week after I accepted that offer, my brother Rick died.

My official BASF photo.

I'll start by elaborating on the professional news. In November 2017, I accepted a job offer at BASF, a German chemical company, and resigned from Deloitte, the consulting firm I joined out of business school in 2011. The new role offers better pay, a slower work pace, greater emphasis on my areas of interest and, most importantly (to me), the flexibility to work from home, which has been a game-changer in terms of my overall wellbeing. So even though Deloitte is a great company, and I grew tremendously while there, ultimately this was the right offer at the right time.

Me with my new team after
"escaping the room" in December.

My new title is People Consultant, which is essentially an internal management consultant who focuses on HR projects. I found out about this opportunity through a head hunter to whom I was introduced through an MBA classmate, adding yet another reason why an MBA was a good investment -- the network really can pay off. Even though the work is similar to what I did before, it's my first time working in this industry, or in this function, so I'm learning a lot.

Rick and I, November 1984.

Back to the personal news, my brother was 49 when he passed away on Nov. 2, 2017. He had struggled with alcoholism since he was 13, and in this case suffered a relapse from which he didn't recover. I had seen him just a few weeks before when I was in St. Louis for my 20-year high school reunion, which happened to fall on his birthday weekend. We saw each other three times, so I'm grateful we had those moments. Nearly 200 people attended his funeral, many of whom I hadn't seen in decades, and his burial was in Nashville in our family plot, which goes back five generations to the 19th century.

Rick and I on his birthday,
October 2016.

Rick was a personable, irreverently funny intellectual with a passion for history, including our family ancestry. Although we all grew up Presbyterian, he had been devoutly Catholic since converting for his first marriage, and was a single-issue voter on abortion (anti). But he had a strong rebellious streak, too. He'd gotten around via motorcycle since I can remember (see drawing below for evidence) and had several prominent tattoos, including one on the back of each hand. His nickname for me was Fuzz; he's the only one who ever called me that, and that's the only thing he'd ever call me. He left behind a daughter, who recently turned 14 and lives with her mom, his second ex-wife, in Michigan. (Here's an old post featuring them, from 2009.) I'm angry, sad and annoyed he's not here anymore. At least once a week, something pops into my mind that I want to tell him, or ask him about, and I remind myself that it's too late.

A family portrait I drew in third grade.

Mom reads her 75th birthday present.

Depressing, right? Yes. But on the bright side, it's prompted me to do a lot of reflecting about the long-ago past, and take solace in these memories. And the real takeaway, of course, isn't to wallow, it's to appreciate that our time here is pretty short, and that it's important to invest that time wisely, especially when it comes to connecting with loved ones. For example, a couple months ago, my mom turned 75. For a gift, I did what I did for my father's 75th birthday six years ago and leveraged my newspaper design skills to create a faux front page in her honor. It was a time-consuming endeavor, but well worth it, and I'm thankful I was able to see her read it in person.

A Boardwalk Empire-themed
New Year's Eve!

Beyond all that, the past 12 months were generally pretty good. James and I, as usual, managed to take a few enjoyable vacations. Most recently, we went to Puerto Vallarta for a friend's (surprise) 50th birthday, and the following week spent time in California, including the Bay Area for a Yale classmate's wedding, followed by a few nights in Yosemite National Park, and wrapping up in James' hometown of Los Angeles. James has been focusing most of his energy on growing audience for his website (TheGLife.com). Since we both work from home now, we rejoined our local tennis club and have been making the most out those facilities, along with our memberships to a nearby gym. Almost every day we do something active like tennis, weightlifting, swimming, hiking with Derby (our dog), or taking an exercise class at the gym like spin, yoga, abs or Pilates. At the beginning of the year, I vowed to lose 40 pounds for my 40th birthday, which is this December. I was trending in the right direction until these past couple weeks of vacation, so weight loss will be a top priority over the coming months, as will post-vacation financial frugality.

See you next year.